Teen Sexual Activity

How Do I talk About Sex to My Teen?

If there is any issue too big for Unity to tackle, then Unity is not fulfilling its mission! My take on this matter is all that you are going to get, because Unity philosophy has not yet addressed this important issue. Of course, by the time you read to the bottom of this page it will have! After all, some Unity minister has got to develop the Unity philosophy regarding sex, so why not your own?

Religion has made sexual activity out to be a forbidden realm of inquiry and the foundation on which much sin is built. At the same time, religionists rave on about how marvelous creation is because it was created by God. Somehow, they have disconnected from the fact that sexual activity is an essential component of the perpetuation of that marvelous creation.

The religionist’s theory of Intelligent Design is bogus, of course, but consider how “intelligently” natural selection worked it out. The required activity for species procreation is pleasurable, ensuring that it will be engaged in! The resulting physical desire for intercourse accomplishes the necessary task (not so much of a task as a labor of love?), but also calls forth the need for responsible behavior. Take problematic overpopulation of cats and dogs is a prime example of what happens when procreation is dealt with irresponsibly. We excuse felines and canines for behaving irresponsibly by assuming they have no reasoning faculty. We humans, however, have no excuse, for we can reason.

Reason however, is easily bumped aside by surging emotions in teens who have had little opportunity to try out their reasoning faculty, let alone their organs of procreation. This is why it is crucial for parents to start talking sex with their children before the age of puberty. Some parents do not bring up the subject of “the birds and the bees” with their kids in time because sanctimonious religious prudery has stifled them and secular, anything-goes-sexuality has intimidated them. The truth is, sex is not a legitimate area for religion to appropriate and label as sin or for secularists to snatch back and label as not sin. Sex is a matter of practicality, not sinfulness. It is simply impractical to engage in sex outside of a bonded relationship. This is primarily so because of the probability of pregnancy (illogical belief in virgin birth not withstanding), but also because of the possibility of sexually transmitted diseases. To avoid both potential aftermaths of the afterglow, birth and STD control devices have been invented by us creative humans, because that is easier to do than abstinence.

Abstinence is not appropriate for all people or for all times, but it does highlight the need for mental discipline to overcome hormonal indiscretion. As with any skill, we are better at mental discipline if we start practicing it when young. This makes the preteen years prime territory for working with both the violin and virginity. Wait too long after initiating such practice, and it may be too late. Squeaking and squawking could start coming from either a spruce box or a spruce crib. Teach teens the practicality of applying mental discipline so as to wait for a bonded relationship before becoming sexually active. This doesn’t mean they will wait or won’t procreate too early, but you will have done your job, and that is most anyone can do.

Return from teen sexual activity to Ask Michael

home